yay
I’m sorry for the long absence, haha.
It’s a horrible excuse to say I’ve been busy because I’ve had plenty of free time.
I’ve had an awesome first semester at Tech.
God has always been awesome to me and He still teaches me despite my stupidity.
—-
God is good. That’s the first thing that pops up into my head, haha. God is good and He loves me despite all my flaws because to Him, it’s what sets me apart and makes Him love me. He died for me just as much as He died for you. He sees no flaws and he sees no blemishes or imperfections. H sees my heart and is so in love with it. He cries with me, sings over me, watches over me, and tends to each and every single one of my need. I am nothing but Christ has made me a king. No matter what I do, God still sees me as royalty. I am a sinful and wicked king but that does not change who I am. I am royalty by God’s grace and am a son through Christ’s love.
It must pain you to see your children like this. Far worse than Gomer, more sinful than prostitutes , and yet you still love each and every single one of us. I don’t understand how a Father like you can love us so much. That concept of love is something that I could never even fathom without heaven. I am so slothful in my actions and short in patience yet you still wait for me and walk with me with ever-still calmness. God you are so good to me. I can’t even cover 1% of how kind and good you are. I am one of a wicked generation and yet you chose me. For that God, I thank you.
God, I need you. I don’t need comfort from a girlfriend or groups of people. My prayer is that my only comfort that I seek will be from you amongst the wolves. I am not defined by my grades, what people say, what my parents say, what anyone else says, but I am defined by what you have called me, Lord.
–most random flurry of emotions just now, aha.–
I’ve been blessed by literally the most random people. I love CCF and all but to me, just sticking to it doesn’t seem “enough” for me. I desire to see more faces of God through other people. and I have! I’ve had the opportunity to pray with random people and have had them pray for me. The most recent one was a man that helped me find a building for a recitation. We prayed for each other and went our ways and in the back of my head I thought, “Junk, I hope I see him soon.”
Fast forward, it’s the day of the most recent shootings. I went to eat lunch with my RA for a recommendation and we just talk. He asks me what I want to do and I just begin to share and bring up God to Him. He then tells me how he’s a Christian too and we just go off from there. That’s when we started receiving texts about shootings. I got owned here. He immediately got up and said “We have to pray. My friends are here too so lets’ pray together.” I agreed and as I walked to the table, it was the guy I mentioned in the previous paragraph. God plans every single moment out of our lives for our good. Holla.
One cool thing is that in my hall, there are a lot of Christian RA’s and they gather together regularly to pray. I’ve been blessed by a lot of them and they play a big reason in why I want to be an RA as well, haha.
I’ve been reading the Bible more often than usual and it’s been very good to me. I use to always think that the benevolent and merciful side of God was shown in the Old Testament but shoot, God cares about His people like no other. Despite the Israelites blaming God for their roaming in the desert, He provided food. Even when they constantly turned to different idols, God still loved on them. One of the hardest thing I would have to imagine was the moment where God witnessed Abraham about to kill Isaac as an offering.
Think about it. Abraham didn’t have to bear through the turmoil of his son’s death. God did. And God knew that would have to. That is love.
Haha, no scripture for now because….. there’s so much I would want to put down.
Actually, I lied.I’ll put in some scripture.
I don’t understand why I constantly seek comfort and safety before I act on what God has to tell me.
Luke 10:3
Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves.
There is no comfort in that, or so it seems. Wolves have claws and teeth. Lambs have nothing. They are helpless and have nothing to protect themselves. But you know what? Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. I will fear no evil for YOU are WITH ME. Your rod and your staff comfort me.
I feel like Peter at so many times. Actually, not even 10% of Peter. I think Peter was one of the most men in the Bible. It as during a prayer meeting a few weeks ago where I got owned.
Matthew 14:22-23. check it out, haha.
Peter left the haven and safety of the boat to be with Jesus. At this point, he was vulnerable and yet he kept his sight on the Prize and he was able to walk on water. It was when he noticed everything else going around where he slipped and cried out. I feel just like this at times. I know what’s good, I know what to do, yet I get scared.
When I heard verse 31, I cried.
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
To me, I interpreted it as Jesus being frustrated, ya know? Like, “Peter! you were so close! why!!??!??!?” And I am just like that.
The son of the creator of the UNIVERSE was right there and Peter got scared!
You’d think Peter would get it by now, but he doesn’t. He rebukes the Son, denies him three times, cuts off a soldiers ear, and is possibly one of the most irrational disciples that Jesus had. But, this was all for the better. If you read through Peter and how he lives, you’ll notice changes. He hits the low point after denying relations with Jesus, but through the hardships Peter comes out strong. Nothing really seems mature about him while Jesus was alive but if you read 1 and 2 Peter, he’s a changed man. He’s calm, obedient, and on fire. One reason why I think God chose Peter was because we could all relate to him in some ways, at least for me that is.
I have to seek more and more.
yay
i have no clue where i was going with this blog but i’d say i’m about done. more to come now that i’m on winter break.
pray for me that i will know what courage and boldness is.
